Two week update email 8/22/00

Our dear, still-sick Sandi is a little better every day, this being almost the two-week mark. There are still a lot of deficits, some of which may turn out to be long term, but this cat is a fighter! You just never know. The miracles abound, and this list with all its great energies and the calling upon the graces of Higher Powers by it surely can't fail. The end outcome, though, may not be what we mere Mortals actually have in mind. Forgive me for being perhaps a bit confused in this post. We are quite torn up by all this, and the other cats are not understanding very well, either. One the one hand, yes it's "just a cat", as viewed by some, but on the other, it's a cherished and vital part of the fabric of this household and our lives. I cannot accept the "just a cat" viewpoint.

The positive aspects of Sandi's progress so far has been that she seems stabilized as to her vital signs, she is feeding herself, and doing it in sufficient volumes as to say "normal". She can walk pretty well---even up/down stairs, regularly find the litter box (usually), and is eager to "play". Her favorite games and toys are differently approached now, but she is significantly brighter when stimulated this way. She seems more aware of her surroundings and sometimes reacts almost normally to sounds in and out of the house: she greeted a visitor at the door yesterday, leaving our side here in the office to investigate, though slowly. Then, she couldn't decide how to get out of the way when they came in. She actually jumped up on the bed in the "sick-room" during a feather-chase session yesterday and back down…though a bit shaky. She tried it again later and missed, then looked very depressed and embarrassed and has not tried it since. So sensitive! 

She is fighting us at medicine time, but not so badly since the new Clindamycin refill is a special palatable mix. She is sometimes "acting out" possibly from frustration and anger at her new unpleasant situation. I'm not sure if that's a positive, or not, since she has on several occasions tried to hurt both of us, and the other cats as well. She can't really connect yet, so it’s not yet a problem. She vocalized a little for the first time tonight, but it was not a normal sound for her. It was more of a "little Lost Kitten" sound, from several rooms away. All this is from being comatose and 106 temp two weeks ago. At death's very door.

We have ordered some Rescue Remedy and some books on herbal and homeopathic treatments in hopes of speeding recovery. Maybe even making it more complete than it might otherwise be. We are very hopeful about this, as something inside both of us says, "this will work". Neither of us have any experience with this, but we ARE too aware of the effects of prescription concoctions. We are both quickly losing faith in traditional medicine approaches as the "only answer" due to our own unpleasant experiences with side-effects in our own prescribed treatment programs (a continuing problem for us now with age related maladies). We will keep the list informed as to effectiveness, and any adjustments for Sandi's specific needs. We may need assistance in deciding how to interpret what those needs are! How 'bout it, herbalists? Heck, I may need some, too.

Current deficits are: Low attention span. Sitting and staring into the corner, or at a blank wall. Crashing into things during play. No desire to drink water (she's getting plenty, though from the A/D diet that we sometimes water down---no signs of dehydration either). The biggie for now is that her eyes do not adjust to light. They are constantly dilated and she can't seem to focus on much. We are trying to keep it dim in the house for now to hopefully minimize (further ?) retina damage. No telling what she's actually seeing or imagining she sees. Stalking and swatting at the other cats, hissing and swatting at us if we try to pet her. She has actually "come unglued" and tried to shred my face on two occasions and clawed Maryann's arm once, seemingly unprovoked... we were just "there". May have to do with poor vision. Like the other cats, we just walk away from that behavior. Next time she pulls this, I'm going to sit on the floor in front of her and bawl like a baby! (partly an act and maybe I'll want to, as well). Maybe she'll connect that it hurts us and that we're going through this with her. Other times, she can be pretty sweet.

Remember this was an astoundingly intelligent and interactive cat before. A part of me believes she is still in there somewhere, and is very upset at her own condition from cognizance and self awareness : maybe she hates that she can't see, that she has to "go to the sick room to rest", can't go outside, doesn't feel good, and keeps getting medicine poked down her throat. She's embarrassed because she can't jump or play normally, sometimes can't make it to the litter box in time or groom like she needs to. All these things confuse her, and her big (for a cat) brain hasn't arrived at philosophy and patience yet.

Maybe I'm overly Humanizing this creature, but I have seen the results of this unusual kitty's "acting like people", could it be that these things are actually going on in her little pea-brain? We talk to her just like she was a "people" and have repeatedly explained till we're blue in the face. Maybe she's just tired of hearing it? We also tell her she's going to be okay, and we still love her. Totally nuts! They DO respond when we talk to them, don't they?