For two and a half weeks Maryann (mostly) and I struggled with all these things, and Sandi continued to improve. She could almost hold her head straight, usually found the litter box, eating the prescribed amounts of food and dietary supplements, actually laying down to sleep sometimes and the circling had almost stopped. Then it turned ugly. She had messed the entire sickroom carpet, and was growing more sullen. She was stalking the other cats, who would merely side step her or jump out of the way. Sandi wouldn’t jump because she could no longer judge distances.

As an answer to the potential for more messed carpet cleaning, we bought a large piece of cheap linoleum flooring to cover the carpet. That same evening, Maryann was by herself with Sandi loose in the house. I was not home. Maryann was unrolling the floor covering on the living room floor and Sandi was watching like always. Suddenly, Sandi lunged for Maryann and caught her by the wrist, sinking four canine fangs into the flesh and hanging on. Screaming in pain, Maryann somehow remained motionless until Sandi released, then immediately ushered Sandi back to the sickroom lock-up and set about first aid. Cat bites are nasty, infectious in the worst sense. Do NOT fool around with a cat bite, get immediate medical attention if you can. The violence of it all severely rattled Maryann, too. She called a friend who came to reassure her till I got home. "How could she DO this to me!… I love that cat". More emotions, all of them not good. Not to mention fear. I fed and medicated Sandi by myself this night with a good deal of trepidation. I kept a close eye on her and talked to her and even played a little. I had a creepy feeling as she circled around me that I was being sized up for an attack, but it never came. In fact, she never hurt me in any way. Just Maryann.

Again and again over the next five days Maryann sustained unprovoked attacks and bites. Four bites in five days with Sunday off. Thankfully, she had been to the doctor for the first bite, which had infected severely overnight. There was also bruising and a lot of pain. The Doctor was very concerned that treatment had not commenced sooner, and that the wounds were already so infected (less than 24 hours). The Antibiotic makes Maryann sick to her stomach but it was beginning to work. Subsequent bites were less violent or severe and did not infect due to the medication already working. The bites injured her body and her spirit, it is my hope it was not a mortal injury to the Love of Sandi. I think not, since I believe Love conquers all, and Maryann is stronger than she knows. Witness that Maryann continued to administer to the needs of this poor sick animal, even while smarting from the injuries and holding back the natural fear. But the fear took a deep-rooted hold on us both, and neither could continue treatments. We think these were Sandi’s only way of communicating her wishes: "If I bite you enough times, will you PLEASE put me out of my misery? Don’t make me bite you again".

With further contact or treatment out of the practical question due to our own inability to cope any longer (it hurts me to have Maryann hurting), we managed to coax Sandi into a crate for the last long trip to the Vet. We did not take this decision lightly or out of anger and talked at length with great reasoning. We also consulted our hearts, and could hardly bring ourselves to say the words. She was very docile and co-operative for me, and seemed very relaxed in the crate at the vet’s as he examined her from a distance. We talked of possible long-shot options, but the vet seemed to agree, there was not much real hope. It’s almost like Sandi knew she was getting her final relief. We talked to her, and she even took some Nutrical from Maryann’s finger. Very gently, squeezing her eyes in appreciation as cats do. It felt to us like our world was crashing down, and we were consigning our beloved family member to a death sentence. All true enough, the right decisions are seldom the easy ones. The fact is, the fate was sealed two and a half weeks earlier when we really lost the real Sandi. The vet assured us it would be done with dignity and humanity befitting her place in our hearts. As my cousin put it so succinctly, "it’s your one last act of Love.’